It is said that our relationships are our greatest teachers. Those whom we choose to share our lives with, have the ability to hold up a mirror to us and allow us to see ourselves as we are and not how we think we are.
Is it really a coincidence that your current partner is pointing out the same negative behaviour in you as your previous partners did? Many people experience this as being judged or criticised by their partners and this can lead to resentment or frustration.
Ultimately this may lead to the breakup of a valuable relationship. Good relationships are supposed to be simple (most of the time!). There is generally a natural harmony and an acceptance amongst the partners that it is ok to give and receive feedback about one’s shortcomings if it is done in the spirit of personal growth.
Parents will readily admit that they learn a lot about themselves from their interactions with their children but are often less likely to admit the same about their interactions with their partners or spouses.
When personal relationships break down, it is usually one of two reasons:
• Lack of communication.
• Personal or Core Value conflict.
We often talk about the “Affair”.
In my experience, when lack of communication takes place and awareness of values have completely been forgotten about, this is when eventually one opens up to an external relationship, might it be an “Affair”.
Relationship Coaching involves assessing your personal situation at this moment in time.
Each couple taking a “Psychometric Test” to understand and value the difference in their personality styles and the reason they can see life so differently.
Exploring any doubts, fears, self-limiting beliefs or patterns that one might be still giving time to in a way that doesn’t serve them.
Identifying your partner’s needs and your own needs, realising that no one person will ever fulfil all your needs.
Eliciting your partner’s values and your values and dealing with any incompatibilities.
Aligning your values.
Learning and developing healthy relationship skills such as setting boundaries, being assertive, listening in the moment and being totally present and transparent in your communication.